A "stupidest excuse in the world," bonehead award goes to the people who came up with these speeding excuses, non of which worked, as told by various members of the Philadelphia Highway Patrol:

A man who, when asked by the officer if he had seen any speed-limit signs, explained, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man caught doing 79 MPH on I-95 who explained, "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor. If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."

A man who explained, "I'm due in traffic court. If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

A man who simply offered this, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person who when given a ticket for doing 73 MPH asked if there's a senior discount.

A man who claimed he was allergic to bees and so was speeding to the hospital. To prove it, he pointed to a bee on the dashboard in an advanced state of decomposition.

A man, caught doing 70 MPH in the breakdown lane of I-95 who, when pulled over, jumped out of the car and began frantically brushing off his pants explaining that he dropped a lit cigarette in his lap and so was in a hurry to find a place to park.

And my personal favorite: · A man caught speeding who told the officer that he and his wife were trying to have a baby and then explained, "My wife if ovulating. I have to get home right now!" Philadelphia Daily News 24-Jun-02

(Ladies, you do notice of course that these appear to be all 'men'. lol)